I don't think I could have handled it as well." Uh, thanks." So you have to admit, this is certainly not something they tell you about in the birds and bees books, is it?" I must have looked puzzled, for she went on. "You know, the 'how to tell your child about sex' books parents get?" I nodded, getting her point. "Really, if anything, I am slightly jealous of my own daughter on several levels." My mouth dropped open."What on earth for?" I blurted."Well, for one thing, she's finding out about the birds and the bees in a much better way than I did." Oh." And it sounded like she was really into her impromptu sex ed class when I dropped by today." Oh," I said again, not being able to think of anything to say."She did have fun, didn't she?" Uh, yeah, I think you could say that." Mrs. Finley gave me leering grin and I relaxed. She stuck out her toe and poked me in the leg. I cleared my throat."So. You feeling all studly because you got to make love with her?" We didn't have sex." I didn't. We eventually made love like we always had, long slow and soft. It was... okay, but clearly left us both a bit unsatisfied.Friday night Julie came up to me as we made dinner. "I want to go again tonight." No... please. I couldn't do that again." I'm sorry John. I need it, need it like a drug. I know you're not there yet, but I am. I love you like I've loved no one in my life, and I want you now and always in my life, but it's not enough. I need to be able to let go like I was able to those two nights. Let someone else tell me what to do, how to do it, and just go with it. Can you understand?"I wasn't sure I did. "Please don't go. Give me a bit more time to get my head straight."She shook her head, crying a little, "I can't." After dinner she went upstairs alone, and came back down in a long coat. I didn't want to know what she was or wasn't wearing under it all. I turned away to watch the movie the boys had on, and didn't even respond to her sad, "Good night" as she left the house.I.
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